Still Here: Violations
by Marie Nomad
Summary: Scott's feeling desprate and did something he will regret.


Okay, this is the sequel to my 'Still Here' story. All characters belong to Marvel Comics and used without their permission. I'd like to thank my betareaders for making this story presentable. 

STILL HERE: VIOLATIONS By Maria Cline 

Hello, Gambit. 

I'm scared. 

I know that those already dead shouldn't fear death again, but I feel scared. 

I'm scared of myself and what I may do to you. It had been over a month since I well... Died. I've been expermineting with my new found powers. Recently, I managed to convince Forge and Fixx to help Lorna get Alex back by sending dreams and nightmares. Actually, I'm not sure if I had anything to do with it, but I think I might have. 

I need you. 

I need to touch and feel again. I need to tell Jean that I was alive, sorta, and well. I didn't want to try it with a telepath, so I can't possess Jean. Nathan's mind might get disrupted and his virus would cause so much pain. I didn't want to try it with _any_ of the women. Logan's mind is too well sheilded and he's still reeling from the effects of his activities as 'Death'. Kurt and Hank's bodies are too... Unique for me. So, that leaves you. You have the similar features as I do and you have an odd form of empathy. I had been watching others sleep for a long time. Since, I don't need to sleep. I knew that I must've had some psychic powers, if I could almost manipulate dreams. But, can I possess others? Should I even try? 

I never really wanted to try. Possessing others is like a violation of trust. I had dealt with many possessors and I've never really wanted to be like them. 

Do I have a choice? 

Do I want to rob another person's control, even if it is for a greater good? 

You don't understand how alone I feel. I feel so helpless sometimes. Okay, all the time and I _hate_ feeling helpless. 

I don't want to violate you, Remy. But I want to touch those covers again. I want to feel the ground beneath my feet. I just want people to know that I'm in the same room with them. I want to breathe period. I want to be in control of my own surroundings instead of watching everything around me being unable to do anything like a narrator in a story. 

Still, what if I possess you and I can't get out? What secrets do you have in your head? Will I get to see what sinister connections you have? Do I even want to know? What if you suffer because of what I might do? What if I confront the others and they assume me to be the enemy? Or worst, they think less of me since I took another body by force. I'm a role model to the team. 

I have to try. I need to feel and be alive again. I need to hold her in my arms again. I need to help the others get Alex back. I need to reassure Nathan that he didn't really kill me. I need to talk to Dad and tell him I still love him. I need to do all the things I never got to do in my life. But, is it really right? 

To be like some of the worst foes I fought. I already came close to being Apocalypse. Do I want to be like the Shadow King? Is it worth it? 

Do I truely want to become you, with your demons and secrets in your head? 

I need to try. 

Now, just lie there. Please don't move too much. I can't believe I'm doing this. 

God forgive me. 

*Gasp* air. I can actually breath. My voice. It's not mine, but I can talk. 

It worked! I'm alive! 

Now to get to her, then get the X-Men... they'll be so happy. This is incredible. I forgot what it's like to have cold feet. My hands feel so warm. That thumping in my chest. My heart is pounding. 

I'm alive. I'm actually lying down instead of floating. I can feel gavity's pull on me. 

Just take a few steps. Lucky thing this body is about the same size as my old one. Still, I could barely stand up. Walking shouldn't be this hard. 

What's that screaming in my head? Gambit? No, Remy. Don't worry. I won't hurt you. 

Stop it! Stop trying to push me out! 

Oh I see. The thought of someone else in your head is unsettling for you. 

I... Forgot all about you. What I'm doing isn't very nice, or polite, is it? 

I'm sorry. 

I'll get out. 

It's so numb here. No feeling. No warmth or cold or anything. 

Oh well. 

Better? Remy, I'm sorry I had put you through that. Don't you remember what happened? 

IT'S NOT A DREAM?! I REALLY DID POSSESS YOU! DAMNIT! YOU'VE GOTTA REMEMBER! 

I possessed you. I robbed you of control of your body. For that second, I forgot that I was even me. I acted like the enemy, and you still won't remember? 

You can't hear me... 

Still, at least _I know_ that I can possess others. Maybe, I should try a different body, tomorrow night, I could try Bobby. 

No! 

What am I thinking? I'm acting... I don't know what's going on with me... 

There has to be another way to do this. I don't want to lose what's left of my soul to this. I don't want to be like Proteus or Malice. I only knew one 'good possessor' and she doesn't rely on possessing like others. Maybe, the reason Karma wasn't evil is because she didn't rely on possessing others... Like I'm doing... 

I could be helpful for others if someone got knocked out in the middle of battle. I wanted to feel something besides nothingness and the sparks of other souls... It would be nice to feel... Again. 

No, this isn't the way, though. I can't just take another body. 

I violated you. 

I'm sorry. Just go back to sleep. 

I'm sorry. 

I better go. 

There has to be another way. 

Because I can't do this again. 

My soul is something I'm interested in preserving... 

Fin. 


End file.
